Fall is the beginning of a new descent into our deeper selves. In the process, we have a look at who we are, gain further understanding and move through a new layer of trust and illusion.
At the top of the well lie the edges of transformation. Here we are confronted by our shadows, triggers, and our demons. It is the portal gate, and like all things, this is an opportunity for expanding understanding and thus compassion. It is here we meet temptation. Only it shows up in life as triggers in the external world. Wherever our permission field is blocked, we will see the opposition, which shows up to feed the doubt.
In our desire to avoid it, we actually invite it in. There is nothing wrong with this. In fact, it is good. The shadows and demons are not here to torture us or make us feel bad but to point us to where we do not yet trust ourselves and our inner knowing. The temptation, it turns out, is to turn away from self.
As we get closer to going inward the shadows become bigger, bigger doubts, bigger fears, and more uncertainty. On some level we love them. We love them because they serve as permission to not go in. To retreat on our journey. If we don’t have the experience and tools to recognize the permission blocks for what they are, we turn the other way. And so, we take another pass around the wheel and repeat our cycle until we come to the well again. Here we stand once more. Are you ready to pass through this time?
I recently talked about how some of these permission blocks show up in the external world. In life, they can look like being shamed by others for making money or being healthy (I’m wrong for taking care of myself). It can look like suddenly having to take care of someone else (I’m wrong for taking time for myself). It can look like doubting the self (I’m wrong for being who I am). It can look like questions around integrity (I’m wrong for having a desire). It can look like money or health problems (I’m wrong for not suffering). It can even look like ridicule for being big (I’m wrong for being seen).
When we ask a question, we are given experiences for us to understand the wholeness of that question. This doesn’t mean that we don’t ask the question. This doesn’t mean that we should suppress or cover up our feelings of doubt. It means that even in our questioning, we have the ability to trust our own knowing. As we move forward in our lives, our job is to recognize these triggers for what they are, come back to our center, and connect to our self. Instead of getting swept up in what the external world is tempting us with, we are challenged to trust ourselves, and then trust ourselves again. And then trust ourselves some more.
The question is, what would it be like to go deeper into yourself?
What would it be like to trust yourself and show up in higher service?
How would it feel to know yourself and live on purpose?
For many of us, those are edges. Being aligned, being on purpose, being successful, being fulfilled, and getting paid for what we love to do all hold some uncertainty. It feels safer to stay on the surface level.
When we are called to our desires, we are actually being called into the well of our own soul. Our job is to gain the tools and the clarity to return to our self. In doing so, we actually become the permission field for others to do the same. We become evidence that it is in fact safe. Our descent is actually our rising.