The dark night of the soul is a time when you feel utterly alone and nothing makes sense. You find yourself craving isolation and start to view the world as dark and gloomy.
The concept dates back to the 16th century, when poet and Catholic mystic Saint John of the Cross wrote a poem called “La noche oscura del alma,” which translates to “The Dark Night of the Soul.”
Depression or Dark Night of the Soul?
Many people wonder, “Isn’t this just depression?” Although many of the symptoms overlap, depression is a medical condition that can be treated and managed through medication, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness practices, and lifestyle changes.
Think of this experience not as depression, but as spiritual depression. The two can feel similar from the inside, so if you’re unsure what you’re going through, it’s worth talking with a doctor or therapist.
Signs You’re Going Through the Dark Night of the Soul
You might not go through every one of these, but you’ll most likely resonate with a few. This list of signs is adapted from one by North Point Washington, and it’s a good way to recognize this kind of spiritual depression:
- You have no idea what is happening to you or why, because nothing obvious set it off.
- You start questioning who you are and why you’re here.
- Your career suddenly feels out of step with your higher purpose.
- Your faith wobbles, if you’re a spiritual or religious person.
- Or, if you’ve never believed, you start to wonder whether there might be something greater.
- You pull away from people you were once very close to because the connection no longer feels aligned.
- Your mind keeps drifting toward big questions about the nature of existence.
- Old memories you’d rather forget resurface without an invitation.
- You feel softer toward strangers and see that everyone is doing the best they can.
- You feel sorrow for humanity as a whole while also feeling a strong connection to it.
- You come face to face with your own mortality and the mortality of others, even grieving losses that haven’t happened yet.
- You realize everything is temporary and wonder what the point of anything is.
- You crave time alone, even though your own company feels miserable.
- Nothing holds your interest, even the things you’ve always loved.
- You question whether you’re a good or bad person, even flipping what you’ve always believed about yourself.
- You feel the urge to rebel against institutions like government, schools, and corporations.
- You re-examine long-held positions on politics, money, religion, and other big issues, and wonder if you were wrong.
- You feel powerless over the world around you and over your innermost self.
- You want to purge your possessions and downsize your life.
Going through the dark night of the soul is a dark and lonely experience. Keep in mind that you’re going through it for a reason,, and there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. Although it may feel like you’re dying and everything around you is changing, it truly is the ego that is dying. It’s the world’s way of helping you shed what no longer serves you to make room for more authenticity. Dark night of the soul is a gift, and a doorway into spiritual awakening.
Tips to Navigate Dark Night of the Soul
- Be kind to yourself. You’re going through a lot of different emotions, so be gentle when you can. Notice your inward conversations and stay away from self-shaming.
- Take things slowly. All the pain you’re feeling will make you want to take action and do whatever it takes to run from it. Just know the pain has a purpose: to make you stronger in the end. Don’t run away from your feelings. Give yourself time to feel them.
- Meditate and practice gratitude. Try to find a few things to be grateful for each day. You’ll find that this helps boost your mood. Meditation is another great way to take things slowly and tune in to your heart and mind.
- Skip the alcohol and drugs. Others may choose to run to things that numb the pain, even if only for a second. We encourage you to face the pain and learn from it. Drugs and alcohol usually just cause more problems.
- Stay connected with people who care about you. It’s easy to isolate yourself during a dark night, which is completely understandable. Just don’t cut people off completely. Having someone who loves you can be a great comfort in something this difficult. If the heaviness ever turns into thoughts of harming yourself, reach out to a doctor, therapist, or crisis line right away. You don’t have to go through it alone.
- Work out when you can. Moving your body and giving your health some attention is an excellent way to ease some of the pain.
The dark night of the soul holds a lot of power, value, and purpose.Once it’s over and we pull ourselves back with new perceptions and compassion, we understand how unbreakable we are. The most beautiful thing that results from all that pain is total transformation, which makes every second worth it.
If you recognize yourself in this season, with the questioning, the unraveling, and the deep inner shift, it can be a sign that a spiritual awakening is underway, that your awareness is expanding, and that your intuition is asking to be understood, not ignored.
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When You Walk Beside Clients Through the Dark
If you’re a practitioner or therapist, you’ve likely sat with clients in their own dark night, when everything is unraveling and they need someone who won’t rush them toward the light. The Way of the Hollow Bone Master Healer Certification is a nine-month path for healers ready to hold space for deep transformation with steadiness, discern what’s spiritual from what needs other support, and guide clients through the unraveling with care. Apply now if you’re ready to be that steady presence.