The Dark Night of Soul

The dark night of the soul is a time when you feel utterly alone, nothing makes sense. You find yourself craving isolation and start to view the world as dark and gloomy. The entire concept of having a “Dark Knight of Soul” dates back to the 16th century when poet and Catholic mystic Saint John of the Cross wrote a poem,“ La noche oscura del alma (The Dark Knight of Soul).

Depression or Dark Night of Soul?

Many would think “isn’t the dark night of the soul, just depression?” Although many of the symptoms overlap, depression is something that can be cured or remedied through medications, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness practices, and lifestyle changes.

Think of The Dark Night of Soul not as depression, but as a Spiritual Depression.

Signs that you’re going through The Dark Night of Soul

Although you might not go through all these symptoms, you most likely will resonate with a few from the following list by North Point Washington.

• You have no idea what is happening to you or why (nothing seems to have caused this)

• You begin to question the very fabric of your being (Why am I here?)

• You are considering the possibility that your career does not suit your “higher purpose”

• You feel like you are losing your faith (if you are a spiritual or religious person)

• You begin to think that maybe there is a God (if you are an atheist or agnostic)

• You feel the need to disconnect from people you have been very close to in the past (because they no longer “serve you”)

• Your thoughts naturally gravitate to deep, philosophical topics (like the nature of existence)

• You begin to take unwelcome trips down memory lane to times in your life you would rather forget about

• You begin to be more forgiving of strangers and realize we are all just doing the best we can

• You feel a sense of sadness for humanity as a whole while suddenly feeling a strong connection to it

• You get in touch with your mortality and the mortality of others and grieve deaths that have not even happened yet

• You begin to realize that everything is temporary, so you start questioning, What is the point of anything? You feel an intense need to be alone in your own company, even though you are thoroughly miserable with yourself

• Nothing interests you, even activities you have always had a true passion for

• You wonder if you are a bad person, even if you have always thought of yourself as a good person (conversely, you think you might be a good person, even though you have always thought of yourself as a bad person)

• You begin to feel a need to “rebel” against institutions like the government, school systems, and corporate structures

• You reexamine positions you have always been firm on and begin to question if you may have been wrong all along (abortion, racism, materialism, corporate success, the existence of God, and the use of drugs are all great examples)

• You become aware of your powerlessness – both over the world around you and your innermost self

• You feel a need to “purge” yourself of material possessions and downsize your life

Going through the Dark Night of Soul is a dark and lonely experience. Keep in mind that you’re going through this for a reason and that there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. Although it may feel like you’re dying and everything around is changing, it truly is the Ego that is dying. It’s the world’s way of helping you shed what no longer serves you to make room for more authenticity. The Dark Night of the Soul is a gift.

Tips to navigate through the process

Be kind to yourself – You’re going through a lot of different emotions and should try to be kind to yourself when you can – Take notice of the inward conversations and stay away from the self-shaming.

Take things slowly – All the pain that you’re feeling will make you want to take action and do whatever it takes to run from the pain. Just know that the pain has a purpose, to make you stronger in the end. Don’t run away from your feelings, give yourself time to feel them.

Meditate/ practice gratitude – try and find a few things to be grateful for each day. You will find that this helps boost your mood. Meditation is another great way to take things slow and tune in to your heart and mind.

Do not drink/ take drugs – A lot of the times others may choose to run to things that will help numb the pain they feel. If only for a second. We encourage you to face the pain and learn from it. Drugs and alcohol usually just cause more problems.

Stay connected with people who care about you – it’s easy to isolate yourself during the dark night of the soul. Which is completely understandable. Just don’t cut them off completely. Having someone who loves and cares about you can be a great comfort when going through something as difficult as this process.

Work out when you can – moving your body and showing yourself and your health some attention is an excellent way to remedy some of the pain you’re going through.

A dark night holds a lot of power, value, and purpose. Once it’s over and we pull ourselves back, with new perceptions and compassion we understand how unbreakable we are. The most beautiful thing that results from all that pain, is total transformation. Which makes every second worth it.