Along my journey within shamanic healing, tantra and the many modalities we have the privilege to access, I have found deepening into my body a powerful transformation tool.
One reason women aren’t able to experience their pleasure as deeply as they like is because of past trauma. This can be anything from subtle shaming when they are young, to bi-products of rape culture, to sexual assault.
So often, the very act of sexual encounters, trigger the old paradigm and many women essentially leave their body or become tense in the act. You can’t experience deep pleasure if you are filled with tension.
I have a few tips to help address this problem. The first is to get educated. Read up on the subject. Learn about the anatomy of female genitals, the physiology of pleasure, methods of relaxation, and do some self explorations.
One of my favorite resources is Authentic Tantra.com. This has blogs, online classes, and a free podcast with lots of practical, easy-to-understand information for you.
Another speaker I love is David Deida, here is a link: Function, Flow and Glow
A technique that I particularly enjoy and have responded quickly to is Yoni breathing exercises. In this practice, you essentially breathe your heart space or energy into your root space. This tender approach allows your root area the opportunity to have life and sensation again. It creates a safe way to approach your sexuality and redefine what that means to you. It is also a great practice to apply to a pleasure practice.
There are so many tools, but the third one I want to mention today is pleasure transference. Many women say they experience numbness either in part of their genitals or off and on. Again, this often is linked to past trauma or shame. One approach is to look at what is blocking the energy, but I love the technique called NeuroAffective Touch. It goes beyond the world of energy work and integrates movement and touch into the practice. Essentially, what you are doing (to yourself or for a partner) is retraining your body to accept pleasure in certain areas. An example would be to touch a part of your body that normally feels pleasure and feels safe when it is touched and at the same time, touch a part of you that is numb or triggers tension. Use this as a daily practice and you will find immense benefits to your sensuality and arousal. This is a great practice to pair with Ho’oponopono. You can read more about that here.